What does the Dalai Lama order at a hot dog stand?"Make me one with everything"
Anybody wants to guess ?
The Dalai Lama gives the hot dog vendor $10 and the vendor hands over the hot dog. The Dalai Lama asks, "Where's the change?"The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."
Photocopier ? Is it Male or Female and because ..... Anybody wants to guess ?
All right, singhg5, we've waited long enough...
The forest has some bodacious trees..u guys r blind.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
How many Kennedys does it take to change a light bulb? One to hold the light bulb and five to drink enough to make the room spin.
" the balls are just for decoration.'
Exquisitely British The train was very crowded and, a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?' The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular. 'Americans are so rude.My little Fifi is using that seat!' The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was still under that dog. 'Please Ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.' She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!' This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!' An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window'
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.' Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?' 'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' 'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.
A rabbi, a priest, a minister, an Imam, a blonde, a Jew, a Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim, a cowboy, a blonde, a doctor, a lawyer & an Indian Chief walk into a bar. Bartender sez: "What IS this? A joke"?
"Surely you heard the old expression, "Abscess makes the fart go "Honda"."